Developer : Konami Computer Entertainment Osaka

Publisher : Konami

Platform : N64

Release Year : 1997 JP, 1998 NA

Now It’s Time for Something Completely Different

I am going out on a limb here and going to say that I learned about this game from an old issue of Nintendo Power many, many years ago. Like, decades ago. Here, let me look up what issue it was, and it’s at times like this that I really wish I had kept my old issues of good ol’ Nintendo Power, and EGM, and all the others. But hey, hindsight is always 20/20, right?

Okay! Found it! Issue 105 from February 1998.

Thank you, Internet and your endless bounty of useless knowledge. Well, it’s not always useless, but you know what I mean.

I was instantly fascinated with this strange and very Japanese looking game. The moment I flipped the page and saw this title; I was hooked and wanted to know more. I don’t know how to say this without sounding weird, but the whole aesthetic of ‘Japan’ tickles my brain in an amazing way. I think I can explain where it came from:

Ever since I studied Japan in the third grade (or was it the fourth grade? I don’t know, it’s been a long, long time), mixed with a very early love of Japanese games and anime (they were just those cool cartoons from Japan, and those old games by Enix, Falcom, Square and the like had a very distinctive style of feel that hooked me young), I love the whole look of Mystical Ninja’s stylized, romanticised, and obviously rose-tinted vision of a feudal Japan. You don’t grow up watching Dragon Ball, Sailor Moon, Samuri Pizza Cats, and other old school anime, as well as playing Soul Blazer, EVO, Final Fantasy, and other classic 16bit Japanese games and not develop a bit of love for the aesthetic and feel of old Japan, ya know?

Or maybe it’s just me, but I have a feeling that I am not alone.

So yeah, Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon tickled my fancy like nothing else when I saw those screenshots, and when I finally rented it, it burned itself on to my brain for the rest of my life. Coming back to this title damn near thirty years later is a real treat, and I was surprised at how much fun I still had while adventuring across feudal Japan to stop aliens named The Peach Mountain Shoguns. Yeah, the story is a little out there, but the game’s charm is off the chart, and the humour is so good. I am so happy that I had just as much fun now as I did back in the day, and it is a pleasure that I get to share this joy with all of you.

Or whoever is reading this. You are in for a treat.

Action, Adventure, and Platforms

Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is an action-adventure platformer which plays like a mix between Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The platforming is not as good as Mario, and the adventuring is not as refined or expansive as Zelda, but what Mystical Ninja lacks in tight gameplay it more than makes up for in personality and style. Now this is not to say that the gameplay is terrible or anything, because I still really enjoy it all these years later. I never felt like the game was fighting against me, or that I was dying because of terrible or unresponsive controls, and I never got hopelessly lost because the townsfolk told me believable gibberish, which even by the late ‘90s was surprising for a game like this. Even today, I still had a lot of fun playing Mystical Ninja, which is a shame then that the terrible camera made my heart hurt and almost derailed the whole experience.

The crap camera is the one glaring issue that plagues Mystical Ninja for the game’s entire runtime, because holy balls, it is so bad. The biggest issue with the camera is the simple fact you cannot control the camera…

Like, at all.

Nope.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

You cannot control the camera in this 3D action-adventure game.

Let that sink in. For just a minute.

The camera, in a 3D action-adventure game, is out of your control.

You could try and excusing by saying, “well, it was only 1998, and folks were still trying to figure out the whole 3D camera thing,” but come on, Mario 64 had been out for years by this point. Nintendo literally showed everyone how to do a 3D camera, so having one that this shit two years later is unacceptable. Even if this game was in development before Mario released in ’96, you would think that the developers would have seen that it could be done, so why did we get what we do? You can’t move the camera yourself, oh no, so instead you have to wait for the camera to situate itself. Having to wait for the camera to show you what you want while you’re running, jumping, and fighting is terrible. They obviously knew it was an issue, because all of the maps you explore are huge but largely empty, which gives the camera plenty of room to move around without getting stuck on anything. Yes, I’m being more than a little hyperbolic here, but the camera really is shit even by the standards of the late ‘90s. It doesn’t ruin the game for me by any stretch of the imagination, but it really stands out when I find everything else here to be so good.

The Stage Is Set

Mystical Ninja is a very Nintendo 64 looking game, which is something you either think is amazing or awful, and I can totally understand both sides of that coin. I am in the ‘looks amazing’ camp, not only because my nostalgia for this game, as well as the fifth generation of consoles, is off the charts, but because Mystical Ninja’s whimsical art direction and wacky cast of characters are just so damn charming. Add to that a soundtrack that is full of more than a few ear worms, and you have a recipe for a game that is going to charm your pants off.

Hell, my pants are already off!

Now, you can’t judge this game’s graphics against modern games, but when comparing them to other N64 titles, I think they are exceptional. This was also before the release of the expansion pack for the 64, but even then, I really like how the game looks and feels. It’s hard for me to talk about how well the game runs on actual hardware, since I’m reliving all these gems on my Retroid Pocket 5, but on this little beast of a machine it looks and runs so smoothly. It runs how it does in my memories, which says absolutely nothing about how Mystical Ninja played on original hardware. The level of detail in the dungeons and towns is especially impressive, and more than once I found myself stopping to just admire the scenery. It’s really good.

Along with the charming art style and catchy as hell music, the cast of characters you get to play as and meet during the quest to save feudal Japan from the Peach Mountain Shoguns shine as bright as the sun. The main cast, our four playable characters, are a charmingly absurd bunch of folks: you have the wacky blue-haired and pipe-wielding Goemon, who is based on the same character from Japanese legends and myths; Goemon’s flamboyant and lazy best friend, Ebisumaru; Sasuke, a robotic knife throwing ninja; and the beautifully fierce kunoichi Yae, who answers any and all problems with the point of her katana. And we cannot forget Impact, the giant mecha that Goemon pilots to do battle with other robots over the course of the game. To say they are a colourful cast of characters is an understatement, and I find them all endlessly charming and hilarious; their interactions with each other, other NPCs, and the Peach Mountain Shoguns made me laugh out loud more than once, especially now that I am older and I actually get and appreciate the absurdist and surreal humour.

Each of our four playable characters play a little differently from each other, and using their unique abilities is how you get through the game’s many dungeons. You know, typical action-adventure stuff, and it is done really well here. The gameplay loop of getting a new party member, learning their skills, and then getting past the obstacles, move the game along at a nice and steady pace. Now, it’s not like each of the party members plays completely different from each other, but there is enough of a difference to make each of them fun in their own way: Ebisumaru and his ghost finding camera; Goemon and his variety of pipes; Sasuke and his throwing knives; and Yae with her mermaid transformation, are a few of the abilities you will use during the adventure. It’s awesome.

The Whole World’s A Stage

The story told in Mystical Ninja is out of this world, in more ways than one. The villains of our tale are the Peach Mountain Shoguns, a group of aliens who want to transform Japan into a European style stage, and all the island’s citizens into cast members in their otherworldly/European production. Yeah, like I said, it’s fuckin’ weird in the best kind of way. From the very moment the game’s title comes into view, you know you’re in for a wild, and very musical, ride. There are spaceships, lasers, robots, musical numbers, a laugh track, and pun heavy humour. It’s great in an absurdist way, and while the translation does leave a lot to be desired, I find that it adds to the overall strange and wacky tone of the whole package. I will admit that it is not going to be for everyone, but even as a kid I found it to be a lot of fun, and now I appreciated it so much more. This time I actually laughed out loud more than once, and the smile on my face was damn near constant during my whole playthrough.

If you like strange and irreverent humour, then Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is going to be right up your alley, and I think you’re in for a good time.

A Wacky Good Time

Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is fantastic, even if the terrible camera is one for the record books. Everything from the characters, to the story, to the gameplay is so charming, and in all my decades of playing games, I have yet to play anything quite like Mystical Ninja. It’s a shame then that this series of games never got much of a foothold here in the west, because I would love to experience more wacky adventures with Goemon and his crew. By the time this title was released over here, the only time we got to experience this strange and wonderfully wacky series was on the SNES with The Legend of the Mystical Ninja in 1991.

It’s good then that I totally have a few fan translated Super Nintendo games in the series, as well as the other N64 title, so I think it’s time I get to them! And I hope they’re just as good as this game.

Fingers crossed.

At the end of the day, I highly recommend everyone at least try Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, and I bet more than a few you are going to have a great time. I hope this little piece of internet jibber jabber gets at least one person to experience one of my favourite games, and if it does, then I have done my job.

Thanks again for reading this, and good luck in all of your gaming endeavours!